Only this shoe pair was in perfect condition when I ordered 4 different pairs.

My wife left me because i wore my new Adidas to bed. She said me or the shoes? I chose correctly. Since then, things have only improved. I sleep faster. I wake up more aerodynamic. My posture is immaculate. I haven’t walked normally in weeks I glide from room to room with the effortless confidence of a man who knows he’s permanently ready for a light jog. Women stop and stare. Men nod respectfully. Dogs follow me. Cats remain suspicious, but I can tell they’re impressed. I wore them to a job interview and they offered me the company. I wore them to the doctor and he asked me for medical advice. Last Tuesday I accidentally broke into a sashay while walking through Woolworths. Three people applauded and a staff member opened another checkout. I haven’t actually exercised in them. That would be ridiculous. Five stars. Marriage gone. Deportment flawless.